My Friend in HR
Welcome to "My Friend In HR", the podcast where we make Human Resources accessible for everyone! Hosted by Njsane Courtney, a seasoned HR executive, this podcast is perfect for anyone who wants to learn more about workplace policies, practices, and culture.
But this podcast isn't just for HR professionals - it's for anyone who wants to improve their workplace experience and be a better employee. We'll feature interviews with HR leaders, managers, and even regular employees to give you a well-rounded perspective on the world of work.
In each episode, we'll dive into a different HR topic and break it down in a way that's easy to understand, with practical tips and advice that you can apply to your own work life. We'll cover everything from how to handle difficult conversations with your boss or co-workers, to navigating tricky HR policies like vacation time and sick leave.
So whether you're a seasoned HR pro or a newcomer to the field, or even if you're just curious about what HR is all about, join us as we learn and grow together. Let's be friends in HR!
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My Friend in HR
Betrayed by Leadership: Why Trust Is the Real Workplace Currency
Trust isn’t just a buzzword—it’s the hidden currency driving every workplace. When it breaks, the fallout is bigger than missed deadlines or disengaged employees—it fractures culture.
In this episode of My Friend in HR, we rewind the clock to humanity’s earliest tribes and connect ancient leadership lessons to today’s boardrooms, Zoom calls, and corporate cultures. Drawing from Simon Sinek’s insights, Edelman’s Trust Barometer, Harvard Business Review research, and real stories of leaders and employees betrayed by broken promises, we unpack the human side of why trust is collapsing in the modern workplace—and how to rebuild it.
You’ll hear:
- Why ancient tribes chose leaders based on trust, not strength—and what that means for today’s executives.
- The silent betrayals that fracture workplace culture (missed recognition, layoffs handled poorly, and leaders who go quiet when employees need them most).
- How layoffs send psychological shockwaves that destroy productivity and loyalty.
- The science of trust and stress: why oxytocin builds collaboration and cortisol kills it.
- Why perks and bonuses don’t inspire when they’re not matched with purpose.
- What both leaders and employees must do to build a high-trust culture.
This is not another “10 leadership tips” conversation. This is a hard look at the broken social contract between employees and organizations, and how trust—not just money—decides whether your culture thrives or collapses.
👉 If you’re a leader, this will challenge how you think about psychological safety, employee loyalty, and the true cost of layoffs.
👉 If you’re an employee, this will give you language to articulate why culture feels “off” when trust is missing—and what role you play in fixing it.
Because when leaders stop protecting their people, perks stop feeling earned. And when employees stop showing up with reliability and honesty, teams collapse from within.
Listen in, reflect, and let’s rebuild workplaces where trust is more than a slogan—it’s the foundation.
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Instagram: myfriendin_hr
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Email: myfriendinhr@gmail.com
This podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only and should not be considered formal legal advice. Please note that the policies of your company and laws in your country may vary. Also, the views expressed by the host or his guests do not necessarily reflect the views of any other company or entity.
Speaker 2:Welcome everyone to the my Friend in HR podcast. My name is Jasani Courtney. Your friend and your guide to the elusive world of human resources and your path to career fulfillment Decided to bring back a popular aspect of the show, which is a mailbox segment where we dive into real world questions from you guys. Today comes from Leslie in a small town, and I want to say I want to make sure I say it the right way I think it's Andalusia, andalusia, alabama, leslie. Leslie, pretty much, has been the right hand person for her boss at her company and looks like her boss recently retired, and so here's the situation that she's facing. Leslie writes uh, dear friend in HR, um, I have a real question that I need your advice on.
Speaker 2:I was basically my boss's go-to person for years and when they announced their retirement I thought I'd be naturally tapped on the shoulder for that role. But here's the thing no one's talked to me about it. No one's mentioned anything about it to me at all. Now they've come to me after the fact saying that they want me to fill in as a temporary supervisor while they do an external search. Honestly, I feel hurt and betrayed and I feel overlooked. Why wouldn't they just promote me if I'm good enough to do the job now, I'm tempted to just quit and let them figure it out themselves. Am I wrong to feel this way? Well, first, leslie, first and foremost, let me say that you're absolutely not wrong to feel that way. I have actually been in your shoes and it could feel like a gut punch to be overlooked. Your feelings are completely valid. But let's talk about strategy. Before we make any big moves, first off, I need you to ask yourself have you directly told your company that you wanted to be in this role? And look, I know sometimes we like to assume that they should know. So have that clear conversation and say something to the fact of hey, look, I am interested in being considered for this role on a permanent basis. Now, second, did you have any discussions with your previous boss about what might happen after she left? I'm assuming this is she. It's always good to have this succession chat, so no one is even guessing about who wants what. And if that conversation never happened, it's never too late to start one now.
Speaker 2:But let's be real. Sometimes companies look outside the company because they're looking for something specific. Maybe they want a fresh perspective or a different mindset that will shake things up, but that doesn't mean that they should overlook the talent right in front of them. So, when you talk to them, keep in mind that you need to find out exactly what they're looking for in this new supervisor, because it may not be what they've always had in the past. That way, you can position yourself as that perfect fit. And, yes, keep your emotions in check for that conversation, even though you have every right to feel. At the end of the day, this is your career story and you deserve to have a say in how it unfolds. If you make it clear that you want the role and they still don't come around, you now know where you stand. And if they ask you to train a new manager which unfortunately, companies do all the damn time well, that's another conversation you'll need to have about your work. Look, hang in there, leslie. You got this and you're not alone in feeling this way.
Speaker 2:All right, so let's get into it. We all know the headlines and we've seen them Employees are frustrated, managers feel the pressure, and everyone's talking about paychecks. But beneath those numbers is a deeper heartbeat to this whole story of mistrust, one that's all about the broken trust and the silent breakdown between the people who lead and the people they're supposed to be leading. Well, but before we dive in, I want to make a comment. I am a massive, massive fan of Simon Sinek. I want to make a comment. I am a massive, massive fan of Simon Sinek, and a lot of what we're going to explore in this episode is inspired by some of its insights from his bestselling book Leaders Eat Last. If you haven't read it yet, look out, it's actually on my shelf back there, right? I highly encourage you to check it out.
Speaker 2:But today we're going to peel back the layers. Sure, the dollars and cents matter when it comes to salary, but we're diving into why the real disconnect is about broken trust and how it's quietly eroding our workplace culture. If you ever wondered why the same old leadership playbook isn't working, stick around. We're about to break down the human side of why the trust is the real currency that we need to get right. So before we dive into the nuts and bolts of trying to fix leadership and rebuilding trust, I want to rewind the clock just a bit.
Speaker 2:I want to go deeper than the usual leadership competencies we've all seen in countless presentations and I want to talk about why we as human beings, even in our earliest tribal days, felt the need to elevate certain individuals into leadership roles. You see, back then, when we were still small tribes of about 150 people, we instinctively chose leaders who could create safety and trust within the group. So Simon Sinek in Leaders Eat Last points out that this ancient dynamic is still echoing in our workplaces today. Leaders were not chosen necessarily because they were the strongest, but because they earned the trust by putting the entire tribe first. And I'd like to present to you that, while we may not be clustering around campfires anymore, our modern tribes are still here. They're our families, our companies, our teams, the departments in which we work. We've just kind of traded campfires for boardrooms and Microsoft Teams and Zoom calls.
Speaker 2:Look, I mean look, if you don't believe me, kind of put some thought into it. Right, those ancient tribes had their own culture, their own dynamics, even their own languages. Does that even sound a little bit familiar? Our companies today have the exact same thing. We have our own cultures, we have our own distinct languages and we have our own industry jargon and geez, the number of acronyms each company has is freaking insane. But what we're seeing right now isn't just frustration. It is literally the fallout of a broken social contract. Look, in my viewpoint, once upon a time the deal was simple you give your best and we'll take care of you.
Speaker 2:But somewhere along the way leaders started focusing more on shareholder value than on human value. And I'm not trying to say that shareholder value is not important. It is very important, but one doesn't necessarily need to always outpace the other in every single situation or decision that is made. And people the employees, the ones who actually do the work notice this kind of stuff. Promotions started feeling like they were political game pieces versus recognition. Recognition itself got kind of quiet. Transparency gets foggy. Very people expected to leave began to look like they'd forgotten what it meant to be part of the freaking tribe. That's where the betrayal starts to creep in, I think. I don't think it's always explosive. Sometimes it's just silence where support should have been, or it could be indifference where empathy should have been there, and when that happens it doesn't just erode, it actually starts to fracture in my blood.
Speaker 2:So let's take a quick story from someone that I actually know, and I've gotten her permission to say it, to mention this story, although I'm going to change her name. So let's take a mid-level manager let's call her Linda and Linda had been with her company for about I want to say about 11 years. Linda never missed a deadline. She mentored her new staff. She actually survived five previous reorganizations. When layoffs were once again announced, she didn't panic. She trusted that her leadership would be transparent. She thought that her loyalty counted for something. But I guess you guys probably know where this story is going. Linda found out that her role was eliminated via a generic HR email no direct call, no acknowledgement, no thank you, just a Zoom link and some vague, ambiguous severance package that nobody took the time to try to explain. It's not that she lost the job In this day and age, losing your job is always a risk it's that she lost the story she believed in, and that's what happens when the social contract breaks.
Speaker 2:There was a Edelman Trust barometer study that was done recently I want to say 2022, 2023, something like that and it said that only 63% of employees actually trust their employer to do what's right. That is down from previous years, and it's even worse among Gen Z and frontline workers, who often are the ones who feel the brunt of, like opaque decisions and short-term reactive leadership, what used to be a relationship of mutual respect has turned in many workplaces into a transactional exchange cold and brittle and easily broken, because betrayal isn't always loud. Sometimes it's the silence when support should have shown up. Sometimes it's the indifference where empathy should have been. That promise that we all have heard, that we're in this together, starts to sound like another slide from a high-level executive strategy deck.
Speaker 2:One of the most sobering points Simon Sinek raises in his book is this, and I honestly didn't realize this. So layoffs as a measure of balancing the books is actually relatively recent, for most of corporate history's leaders saw it as their duty to protect the people that they were entrusted to lead. Even when there was an economic downturn and actually up until the 19, the late 1970s, late 1980s I can't remember off the top of my head, but I want to say 1980s it was practically unheard of for a company to lay off entire workforces or entire departments just to improve profitability. When a company was doing massive layoffs, it was usually like in extreme situations there was bankruptcy or the entire factory shut down. But then something along the way shifted right. Wall Street logic started to creep in into most companies and the quickest way to boost shareholder confidence became this cut headcount, increase short-term gains and we'll let the people figure it out amongst the wreckage.
Speaker 2:But here's the thing you can't outsource the emotional cost of that decision. Every layoff sends a message, not just to the people who are getting let go, but even to those who are staying. Sends a message not just to the people who are getting let go, but even to those who are staying. And when people see loyalty being punished, they don't get more committed, they get more cautious. A recent Harvard Business Review analyst found that companies that conducted mass layoffs just to improve margins saw an average productivity drop of almost 20% in the following 12 months. And it had nothing to do about the capability of the people, it was because the psychological safety had collapsed. And I get it. Psychological safety is kind of a new term that we're now using but at the end of the day, folks just didn't feel secure.
Speaker 2:I once spoke to an employee I'm going to call him Darnell who actually survived three rounds of layoffs. He felt safe and by all intents and terms he was safe. But here's what happened Every time he walked past an empty cubicle he felt a little less proud of where he worked, and even when he got promoted a year later it didn't really feel like a reward. It started to feel like survivor's guilt, because when layouts become routine, trust becomes kind of a memory. So let's set the record straight for a second.
Speaker 2:In my opinion, most employees don't resent leaders for high salary bonuses of corner offices per se. They're not upset that CEOs fly on business class. They're not bitter that directors get reserved parking. Here's what I think employees resent it's when those perks are no longer matched with purpose. Because even back in our earliest travel days that I mentioned earlier, we understood that leadership came with rewards. But those rewards were earned. The best food went to the tribe leader, the safest sleeping spot was saved for them. The elevated status came naturally. Why is this? Because if danger came, they were expected to fight first. These were trusted not just to make decisions but to defend the people who had trusted them with that power. That was the agreement, and even today we still see the echoes of that in every office, every team, every org chart.
Speaker 2:Some would have you even believe that the current discord between employees and managers is all about the money, that it's just jealousy over comp and leadership treats or executive bonuses. But I submit this folks, it's not about the perks, it's the broken promises. But I submit this, folks, it's not about the perks, it's the broken promises, because when layoffs come and leaders go silent, when crisis is hit and managers deflect accountabilities, when leaders reap the benefits but sidestep the consequences, employees don't just lose respect, they actually subconsciously revoke permission Permission to be followed, permission to be trusted and permission for them to lead them. And here's the quiet cost that no balance sheet shows when leaders stop protecting their people, the perks stop feeling earned. When you've sacrificed to trust for poorly performance, your bonuses start to rot the culture instead of inspiring.
Speaker 2:Suddenly, that corner office becomes a symbol of detachment, that title becomes a trigger, not a motivator, and an employee who once rallied behind you to help you get those strategic goals completed now walk around you cautious, disengaged, just mentally done. Look, I know I get real passionate about this, but I want to challenge the thinking that business results and career fulfillment for our employees have to be mutually exclusive. In actuality, if you take care of your employees, I personally believe that in most cases, employees will help you reach those KPIs. Employees will help you reach those metrics. Employees will help you get that client, as long as they feel like they're being taken care of and treated with honesty Doesn't mean that their job is guaranteed. Nothing is guaranteed in this world. There's a difference between being treated as a resource which is exploited and then done away with when we don't need you, versus an asset that we invest in and we both receive a return on investment.
Speaker 2:One of the most painful dynamics we're seeing in today's workplace is this Too many leaders have traded long-term loyalty for short-term wins, and the ones paying the price are the very people they're meant to protect. It's not always about greed. Sometimes it's about pressure, quarterly targets, market demands. But somewhere in that scramble to deliver results, some leaders stop seeing people and start seeing line items, and in those moments, loyalty becomes a liability. Relationships become inconvenient, trust gets sacrificed at the altar of performance and look, that's not leadership, that is damage control dressed in a blazer. A recent Gartner study found that only 16% of employees feel that their leaders make decisions with their well-being in mind, and when trust is broken, more than half say that they plan to leave within six months, even if they don't have another job lined up.
Speaker 2:Now here's another thing I want to talk about. Managers and leaders love to say that they want collaboration. They say that they want innovation, they want creativity, they want vulnerability. You hear them say it in town halls and keynotes. You see it printed in mission statements. Hey, some folks even get it printed on the wall with some really cool calligraphy. But when it's time to actually create the conditions for things to thrive, crickets or worse, chaos.
Speaker 2:Because collaboration and innovation don't come from thin air. They come from psychological safety. They come from environments where people feel safe enough to take risks, admit mistakes and trust that their voice actually matters. And here's the hard truth Most workplaces are chemically hostile to those environments that managers say that they're trying to create. Now, I'm not trying to take you back to biology 101, but follow me here for a second. Humans are more than job titles and paychecks. We are walking talking bundles of neurotransmitters and hormones. Our ability to trust, collaborate and form bonds isn't just psychological, it is chemical. One of the key players oxytocin, the trust hormone. It's what helps us connect, feel empathy, build meaningful connections at work and in life.
Speaker 2:But you know what kills oxytocin? Cortisol, the stress hormone. When leaders allow, or worse, encourage, toxic, high-pressure cooker environments to thrive, with endless deadlines, hyper-surveillance, micro-management and the constant fear of being replaced. They're not just creating discomfort, they are literally killing the chemical conditions required for collaboration and innovation to exist. And look, it's so funny, still in 2025,.
Speaker 2:Some leaders love to parrot around that statement like pressure creates diamonds. And look, yes, some level of managed stress can sharpen skills, build resilience and rush people to grow, but unchecked, chronic stress doesn't create diamonds. It creates burnout, disengagement, silence and, eventually, turnover. Pressure may create diamonds in geologies, but in human, it creates distance. So here's a question for every listener listening you say you want innovation, you say you want collaboration, but are you actually actively building a culture where oxytocin has the room to breathe, or are you flooding your people with cortisol and calling it accountability?
Speaker 2:Now, I have been really critical in this episode about leaders, as we should be, because I believe that to whom much is given, much is expected. However, just as in any relationship, it's important to remember that trust is a two-way street. We often talk about what leaders need to do, that they need to communicate, guide, protect and invest in their teams, but employees have a crucial role to play in this as well. Let's be real. There are a ton of jokes out there on social media about coming in late, faking sick days and finding clever ways to do the bare minimum. While it's funny in a meme, in real life and in current workplaces, that kind of behavior erodes trust, just as any leadership misstep.
Speaker 2:Think of it like this You're supposed to start at 8 am. Being there ready to actually work at 8 am shows respect, not just for your manager, but for your entire team. It's about doing your part consistently. When employees make a habit of cutting corners and not being honest about their commitments, it creates a culture where no one knows who to actually rely on. You don't necessarily trust the man or woman to your left or right to be able to fulfill their commitments and do the work that they're supposed to do.
Speaker 2:Just as leaders have to be consistent, employees have to be reliable. If leaders are expected to protect their teams from unnecessary stress, employees should also protect the team's integrity by being honest and dependable. It's about respecting each other's time, respecting their effort and the shared goals that you're also supposed to be working towards. And yes, let's be honest, nobody's perfect. Just like leaders, employees will have days where things just don't go as planned. There are some days we're just not going to be operating at 100%, but the point is is that we show up in good faith, that we communicate and be part of the solution, rather than adding to the drama and adding to the problems. Ultimately, building a culture of trust is everyone's responsibility. When both leaders and employees commit to that, you create a workplace where people feel valued, trusted and motivated to bring their best work effort every single day.
Speaker 2:Let's address one more thing that amazes me when I look at social media in terms of responsibilities of employees when it comes to building and maintaining trust the way social media sometimes normalizes trying to outsmart the system, to do the bare minimum at work, but then they expect big rewards. Here's the reality your employer is paying you to do a job. It's not volunteer work, it's not pro bono work, and while it's perfectly OK to want more compensation for doing more, it's also about showing what you're willing to do to add value first. Just like if our child asked for a bigger allowance, they might need to take on a few more chores to earn it. It's a partnership.
Speaker 2:Now, with that being said, that doesn't mean you let yourself be exploited or take on two or three people's jobs without fair pay. Leaders, you've got to listen to that. Don't be asking your employees to do two or three jobs or combine two or three jobs, and not look at whether or not that compensation needs to go up. But, employees, if you want to grow, sometimes you have to show your value first, and that often leads to more opportunities down the line. In the end, folks, it's all about balance and mutual respect. You don't have to be best friends, but the respect has to be there. So let's break it down one last time.
Speaker 2:Leaders, look, if you want to build trust in your organization, show up in the hard moments, be transparent, even when it's a little bit uncomfortable. Make decisions that prioritize people, not just profit, all the time. Protect psychological safety and earn your right to lead every single day. Employees, if you want to be part of a high-trust culture, you need to be consistent and dependable. You need to communicate openly and in good faith, respect the time and energy and the goals of your team and don't just ask for more. Show the value that you bring and help create the kind of workplace that you want to work in.
Speaker 2:When both sides commit to this work, trust doesn't just return, it actually strengthens. And that's when workplaces stop feeling like systems and start feeling like communities, not a family. I swear to God if I hear one more company say we're like a family well, unless it's a small, family-run company If I hear one more time, I'm just going to lose it. But more like community. When everyone steps up leaders and employees you create a culture where trust isn't just a buzzword. It becomes a foundation for everything you build together.
Speaker 2:Look, guys, I want to thank you all for taking the time to check out this episode of the my Freedom HR podcast. If this episode sparked something in you, whether you're a leader trying to rebuild or an employee trying to hold it all together, know that you're not alone. These conversations matter, and the more we normalize them, the more power we give to the change system from inside. You've got more influence than you think. Let's use it well. And speaking of influence, let's talk about how you can win something that could take your career to the next level. If you want even more my Friend in HR content, come hang out with me on YouTube, where you'll find brand new video versions of this podcast, career tips and my brand new interview series called the Mic Drop.
Speaker 2:Celebrate the launch of the Mic Drop, I'm running two giveaways. First, I'm doing a free executive resume review In order to qualify, just subscribe to the YouTube channel like this episode and leave a comment to be answered. That's it, and I'll pick a winner once a month for the remainder of the year. If you're interested in receiving a free LinkedIn profile review for the first two weeks of September, follow me on X and drop a career-related question. You can also connect with me on Instagram, at myfriendinhr, where we laugh at corporate quirks and share career gems. And, of course, you can always find me on LinkedIn under Josiah Corp Two platforms, both designed to help you elevate your career with purpose.
Speaker 2:On a final note, if you've been enjoying the conversations here on the podcast and find value in what we're building together, do me a favor. Throw your friend here a quick five-star rating. So until next time, be well, not just to others, but to yourself, and remember that your job is meant to support your life. Your life is not meant to support your job. Until next time. Life is not meant to support your job. Until next time.
Speaker 1:This podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only and should not be considered formal legal advice. Please note that the policies of your company and laws in your country may vary. Also, the views expressed by the host or his guests do not necessarily reflect the views of any other company or entity.
